God With Us With Others: Two Ears, One Mouth
Northshore Vineyard Church
7.4.10 - Crispin Schroeder
I. Intro – James 1:19
“…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
II. Barriers to Listening
1. We don’t care about what others have to say
2. Wanting to fix things quickly
3. Inherited hearing problems
4. Hot-Button issues
III. Slowing Down the Conversation through Active and Reflective Listening
When you’re the speaker:
1. Talk about your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own desires
2. Try to be concise and focused in your sharing. Use short sentences.
3. Correct your partner if you feel he/she has missed something
4. Continue speaking until you feel understood.
When you’re the listener:
1. Put your own agenda on hold.
2. Allow your partner to speak until he/she completes a thought.
3. Begin the phrase with “what I hear you saying is…” and then try to accurately reflect your partner’s words back. Avoid judging, interpreting or paraphrasing.
4. Then ask, “Is that correct?”