Monday, July 5, 2010

2 Ears... 1 Mouth

God With Us With Others: Two Ears, One Mouth
Northshore Vineyard Church
7.4.10 - Crispin Schroeder
I.               Intro – James 1:19
“…Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
II.              Barriers to Listening
1.    We don’t care about what others have to say
2.    Wanting to fix things quickly
3.    Inherited hearing problems
4.    Hot-Button issues
III.            Slowing Down the Conversation through Active and Reflective Listening
When you’re the speaker:
1.    Talk about your own thoughts, your own feelings, your own desires
2.    Try to be concise and focused in your sharing.  Use short sentences.
3.    Correct your partner if you feel he/she has missed something
4.    Continue speaking until you feel understood.
When you’re the listener:
1.    Put your own agenda on hold.
2.    Allow your partner to speak until he/she completes a thought.
3.    Begin the phrase with “what I hear you saying is…” and then try to accurately reflect your partner’s words back.  Avoid judging, interpreting or paraphrasing.
4.    Then ask, “Is that correct?”
IV.           Conclusion

1 comment:

  1. I thought your sermon was a… gas. 8^)

    Thank you as always for your open candor my friend. It is refreshing and authentic and one of the reasons I continue to listen to your sermons on-line week after week.

    Great, practical points on reflective listening, the backbone skill of the Stephen Ministry I might add. Great points also on the fact that everyone and anyone has something to teach us when we take the time to listen without judgments and agendas, and that we show God’s incarnate love when we truly listen without trying to change the one speaking. We can’t affect eternal change anyway. At best were graced to be a conduit for the Holy Spirit in another’s healing and ultimately the glory of God, and what an awesome privilege that is!

    In the final analysis, listening is a skill that can be learned and improved upon IF we are willing. And though we’re all a work in progress, may we all cultivate this skill sooner than later. TA